-knock knock
-who's there?
-one jazzy wolf
-one jazzy wolf who?
-one jazzy wolf who will blow this house down, daddio. But I'll spare you the griefy, my man, if you give me some bus fare so I can get to my gig. Jazzy howls don't pay the bills anymore, thanks to this un-jazzy recession. I had to sell my van, you dig? Awooooooooooooooooooooooooooo, yeahhhhhh.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Jesus
-Jesus who?
-Why, Jesus Christ. Can you invite me in? I sense you need some miracles but I can't come in unless you invite me. For some reason I work the same way as vampires as far as houses go. I know, right?

-knock knock
-who's there?
-helvetica
-helvetica who?
-Open the damn door and hurry the helvetica up! Arial just walked by and my sans serif is losing it's sans, if you know what I mean.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-free donuts
-free donuts who?
-you? I'm here for the advertised free donuts....It's spray painted right here on the garage. Oh wait, I think I've been duped. I know that font, it's the Spray Paint Kid's!

-knock knock
-who's there?
-minor league hockey
-who gives a fuck?

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Dolly Parton
-Dolly Parton who?
-Dolly Parton my french but I'm tired as shit, can I use your chair? I'm much older than you think. Thanks hon.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-die hard
-die hard who?
-Die Hard 5: Dying Hardest of all of Them

-knock knock
-who's there?
-sega
-sega who?
-Sega Nintendo. My parents had me in 1993 and they are huge dweebs. When I'm 18 I'm changing my name to PlayStation Kennedy.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-couch
-couch who?
-no Coach Yui! Get your cleats, we're late for our games against the Hong Kong Donkey Kong's!

-knock knock
-who's there?
-human
-human who?
-woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof. woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof human woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof woof*




*Translation: actually a dog who made a very stupid wish. There was this mouse genie see, and he said I could have one wish so I said I wanted to speak human so he wiggled his whiskers, and well that smart ass mouse gave me literally what I wanted.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Happy
-Happy who?
-Happy Madison, Adam Sandler's production comedy. I'm here to see if you want to be in our next movie. It's about a man who has to run a zoo but doesn't know how. You'll secretly like it.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Popeye's chicken delivery man
-yessssssssssssssssssssssssssssssssss!

-knock knock?
-who's there?
-the recession
-the recession who?
-all of us.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-a glass
-a glass who?
-a glass jaw, so I'm going to ask you to open the door slowly so I can watch it's arch.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Jughead
-Jughead who?
-Jughead Milhouse Nixon, who the fuck do you think it is? How many fucking Jugheads do you know? I'll give you a hint, let me in and give me hamburgers or I will gouge out your eyes with my crown beanine. THAT'S THE FUCKING JUGHEAD WHO I BE!!!! Jesus Christ, Arch.

-knock knock
-whose there?
-@#$!
-@#$!who?
-@#$! you, you're not my real dad, stepfather.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-Barack
-Barack who?
-Barack that thing up! Sorry, I was talking to the big rig truck backing up onto your lawn. This is Barack Obama, I'm bringing you America! ...Although I think I got the wrong house because you don't sound very much like DR. HENRY KISSINGER

-knock knock
-whose there?
-a ghost!
-a ghost who?
-I wish I knew, if I did I wouldn't have to wander these mortal plains any longer and finally get SOME peace. I am fairly certain I am after revenge.

-knock knock
-who's there?
-the "Spray Paint Kid"
-the "Spray Paint Kid" who?
-the "Spray Paint Kid" who is selling knives to pay off my student loan while still affording to buy spray paint. I'm very good at selling knives because it allows me to afford my passions. Also if you don't buy my knives I will spray paint or not spray paint your house, depending on whatever is contrary to your preference. But they are good knives for the kitchen.

-knock knock
-who`s there?
-the
-The Who?
-the who? really, I just see me out here. Oh.... it`s me Theo, you just must have misheard me through the door. Funny you said the who, I was listening to them on my dad`s ipod, I kind of like them, but they are no timbaland. Speaking of which, I brought over some leaks from Shock Value 2.

-knock knock
-who`s there?
-a vandal
-a vandal who?
-just fucked up your van, dude!